No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
