The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
