They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Randomize
