we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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