You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
