I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
