I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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