never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
