in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he shaved USA in his pubs
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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