woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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