Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
