I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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