In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
