Soap is not a condiment
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
