just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
