Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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