I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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