the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
