come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
