More tranny stories later!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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