He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Randomize
