he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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