Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
