Yo dont text me then not text me
I wanna passion pit in your ass
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
