sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Alive.
So much puke
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
