Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
