do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
