I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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