Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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