I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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