Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
