Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
