Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Pants are for mortals
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
