This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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