You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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