He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
NoShamevember. You game?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Randomize
