'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
