Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
