Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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