Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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