What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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