Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
