dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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