brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
