Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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