The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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