I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
