She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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