I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
