Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
