I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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