Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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