his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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